I had meant to pop in here before the end of the year, just to dust the place, if nothing else. But, holidays are like the Blob. Kind of squishy and harmless looking at first, then before you know it, your looking out from inside the thing and there's no getting out. You have to endure until it spits you out again.
Kind of like how I'm planning on dealing with the next four years. I wanted to hide under my desk like they used to teach us to do in case of a nuclear attack, but it smells suspiciously like dead cookies under there.
Part of my lack of presence here has been that I've lost one of my jobs, the one that paid me in actual money? Yeah, that one. I'm not gonna go so far as to say it was my good job, because that sounds like I half liked doing it. It kept me up half the night, asked me to do heavy lifting, and drive around all by myself. I'm okay taking care of myself, but screwing up my sleep pattern can't be good for my health. Course it takes time to undo that sort of thing, which is why I am here at 1:00 am.
So the last quarter of the year was spent trying to generate enough product to sell over the holidays to try and make up for the loss of Paying Job. Tragically, but not surprisingly, that plan failed. My studio is a roaring mess, my house isn't much better, and I have to summon the energy to try and sort all that and come up with New Money Making Plan. Which...I actually have. Just have to...Do It.
On the slash front, I haven't been writing because there of Real Life Shite, and the very real lack of interesting material. I still poke my head into 1D to see what they're up to, but they haven't budged. My story on them remains undone, although I have a very clear idea how to end it. Athelstan is still dead, although it was fun to see Ragnar sitting down with Eckbert and have them discuss him like he had been married to both of them, and argue over who he loved more. (Sorry Eckie...it's Ragnar. Always was.) The scene with Ragnar seeing Athelstan's son was touching as well. But as far as slash? That particular Viking ship has sailed.
There is some foreign show with openly gay characters who actually have a storyline, and I wonder how long before one of them dies? They have half a chance, being foreign and all. Hopefully they didn't get the "bury all yer gays" memo. Unfortunately, I don't get that show.
Which brings me to Sherlock. We are in the final episodes of the series, two shows in, with one more to go. This Sunday I believe is the last one. There is some good slash material, especially now that Mary is gone. Yeah, screw spoilers, no one is in here reading this anyway! I went into YouTube to see how fans were reacting, and came across this young gal who has put up quite a LOT of vids explaining the slash found in this show. It's all fine and well, but I kind of want to hold her hand for the final show. She's very young and bright-eyed and has done so much research on this, and connected all the dots and examined the characters and what they said and why and...well, she's quite sure this whole thing is going to end with Holmes and Watson being a couple.
Now, TPTB have been clever up until now, and they could do something ambiguous at the end where, if you want to see slash, you WILL see slash. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway. But I get the feeling there is a group of gals out there, a lot of them are in the LGBT community, and they are thinking they are going to get more. That the show will present, without a doubt, that John and Sherlock are a couple, and that they love each other.
And here I am, old and jaded by too many years of thinking...is this the one? The show where they stop queerbaiting, actually grow a set, and show two men in love?...only to have TPTB pull that particular rug out from under me and laugh. Like they would seriously jeopardize future revenue of their show by showing two men being a couple. Phffft. Two girls...maybe. But two men? The only thing this production has going for it is that it is British, and they are more accepting of the gay communities. At least it seems so. If this were an American production, we would have half the gayness of it we do now, so count your blessings.
I saw Moffit and Gatiss at a Q&A panel, and while Gatiss is gay himself, when asked about this, Moffit started hemming and hawing and talking about how this has to be done "delicately." He was saying how he understood young people needing to see themselves represented on TV, and gay people are part of that, but.... It must be done "delicately." I take that to mean, "we're all for John and Sherl being big ol' homos, but the studio says no, so..." Again, I assume they will try and have their cake and eat it too, being subtextual enough that the gayness is there if you are looking for it, but your average straight viewer isn't going to see it because they aren't looking for it.
The reason I want to hold her hand is I believe she is going to be disappointed. She's so giddy right now, her expectations are riding high. She's thinking this group, this production, has the nerve to finally come out and show what Holmes and Watson readers have wondered about for years. And I'm too jaded, fully expecting them to run right up to it, and swerve at the last, keeping the sexualities of these two characters either safely straight, or still an open question. This isn't some Swedish teenage drama, this is a hella popular show that will sell many DVDs in the future. There is no way they would jeopardize that!
Go on. Prove me wrong.
Later: Lord, that was worse than even I imagined. Well gals, this is why I'm so jaded. And grumpy, don't forget that. Had this show, hell the SEASON, been as good as the previous ones, I might be less grumpy about it. But, as someone on Tumblr said, this season seemed "off." Can't put my finger on it, but they are right, and The Final Problem is the worst of the bunch.
You assume I am butthurt because Sherlock and John did not clasp each others hands, eyes riveted on each other, faces softened with shy smiles, as they walked into a bedroom together and shut the door in our faces...only to have Mrs. Hudson walk by and put her ear to the door, get a scandalous look on her face, and walk away muttering about how she "gets all kinds" in here. Or I'm emotionally out of sorts because Sherlock wasn't muttering under his breath about John, and John comes to his chair, leaning his face close and going "What was that? I didn't hear--" only to have Sherlock, fast as lightening, peck him quickly on the cheek, then stare him down, daring him to say anything. Maybe I'm grumpy because we never saw Sherlock pulling John out of the well (Was John NOT chained to the floor of the well? Cause, if he is, throwing him a rope seems kinda cruel, and if he isn't chained to the floor, why the hell doesn't he just tread water?) anyway...Sherlock pulls him from his watery demise, clutching the shaking man to himself, face contorted with anguish at having almost lost the love of his life, only to have John ask him why he is crying, and having Sherlock deny it, "Your hair is wet...must have got on my cheek." John: "Both of them?" Sherlock: "Hey, have you seen Mycroft? I seem to have lost him somewhere..."
No, no...I know queerbaiting when I smell it and take great pains to protect myself from it. I was just soooo underwhelmed by the whole episode. It was like Saw with none of the fun clown interaction. The whole Holmes sister act seemed forced and unbelievable. Moriarty was amazingly brilliant and thought things through leagues ahead of everyone else, but the Holmes sister puts him to shame. Cunning little minx that she is, she manages to take over an entire fortress built to keep her away from decent folk. (Even Magneto needed help getting out of his.) Oh, we are to believe five minutes playing "smell my breath" with Moriarty against a glass wall was enough to mastermind her escape and complete take over?
The coloring was dreary, and I know it was for effect, but it wasn't scary or creepy, it was very dull. Or too dark. Why are institutionalized people not allowed to wear pants? I got chilled watching her. Why was Mycroft suddenly not the brilliant man? Is he only smart when he's ahead? Pass him and he gives up? How did Euros (I know, misspelled, but punny considering England opting out.) how did she haul around heavy male bodies? Stringing them up from the roof and such? Transporting Sherlock and John to Sherlock's old homestead? Rappelling down the well shaft with John's body and chaining him to the floor? (I'm sticking with that until someone tells me otherwise.)
And then...after Sherlock hugs it out with her, she becomes gentle as a kitten, lets herself be retaken, brought back to the fortress, and promises to be good if Mummy and Daddy can be at her violin recital with her baby bro? Yeah, she is crazy. Even Hannibal hared off to South America when he went on the lamb. (PUN!) Moffit: "Shit! There's five minutes of airtime left! What'll we DO?" Mark: "Well, there are scores of fans who want to see Sherlock and John confirm their love for each other, so..." Moffit: "Oh yeah...totally forgot those rubes..."
So we get flash forwards of Sherlock and John repairing their apartment, the one that blew up and yet they magically managed to not be injured by. I submit that the heteronormative was still going on because no gay worth their glitter is going to pass up a chance to get rid of that wall paper. They ever spray the smiley face back on and Sherlock shoots at it again. (Really? That's so important to you? Whatever.) They recreate their "home" and we see flashes of cases that come through the door, and...in what is maybe the brightest spot for all slashers, we see Sherlock and John with Rosie in the apartment. If you are not a slasher, John is just visiting with his daughter. If you are, they are two men raising her together. That ambiguity? I can live with. The very last shot is John and Sherlock racing out of some building together, reminding me of the time Sherlock grabbed John's hand in the alley as they ran. Only this time, no touchies.
The last five minutes felt rushed and ham-handed, when they could have cut so much from the rest of the show. I never saw trailers, so I was not baited with Sherlock saying "I love you," which all the slash fen assumed would be the shining star...him admitting to John his true feelings. In a cruel twist for both the characters and audience, Sherlock is forced by Euros to say it to Molly over the phone, and convince her to say it to him, or Euros will blow up her apartment. Yeah...all of the "tasks" that Euros sets before them are meant to break down Sherlock and get him super emotional, but none of it is done with finesse. It seems like a bad 60's episode of some superhero where the villain sets up an elaborate scheme in order for the hero to get out of it.
AND, dear reader, we are all supposed to believe her reason for all this great effort is because...Sherlock stopped playing with her as a child. Even though they were at the age where boys and girls naturally gravitate away from the opposite sex and don't return until puberty. Boys want to play pirate, like Sherlock and Victor, and run around and poke each other with sticks. Euros wanted to play too, but instead of entering into their play scenario, she was busy flying a plane and insisting Sherlock abandon his friend and join her. About this age, girls tend to be more interested in social role play, and tend to gravitate to other girls because boys are generally shite at that. Her solution? Drown Victor. Where was Mycroft when all this was going down? Is that why he lies to their parents and takes responsibility for Euros afterwards?
I feel kinda bad for the folks who fell for the baiting. I knew there was no way in HELL we were going to get much out of this, but I had hoped for a better last episode, and a better ending. There are those who are burning TPTB in effigy, and those who are saying the usual, that we should be happy with what we have, stop striving for more because gay people...what? Will never be leading characters on TV? Only if you assume it! Others who had been saying there was no gay in this show are dancing around, crowing about how they were right and everyone needs to stop "gaying up" all the shows. There are those who vow to continue, that TFP never really happened, and they will be fixing this promptly in fanfic. Terrific, that is what it is for. There are those, though, who yearn for it still. They don't want to give up, they hope for more...
...And maybe they are right. After all, Sherlock did say "Everyone gives up after three."